Leiby Letters

Homemade Pizza!

2010-05-30T14:53:00.000-07:00

I haven't ever been able to upload videos from our 7-year old desktop, so I was excited to try with our new laptop... AND IT WORKED! The video content isn't terribly exciting, but the girls' voices sure are sweet, and I just know they won't stay like this forever (at least that's what I've been told).

For all of you who have been praying for Tennyson's heart, everything appears to be normal. She did have some arrythmias on her EKG, but nothing that needs to be treated right now. Her 24 hour Holter monitor results were normal. Praise God!

Can she just stay '3' forever?

2010-05-11T12:41:00.000-07:00

Tennyson:

"Mommy, when will me 'n Sissy get advertis-ed (4 syllables)?"

Mommy:

"T, I'm sorry, honey, I'm not sure what you are trying to say."

Tennyson, with frustration:

"ADVERTIS-ED. When will we get advertis-ed?"

Mommy, with understanding:

"Are you meaning to say, 'When will you get BAPTIZED?'"

Tennyson, completely exasperated:

"Yes, baptized."

Opposite Confusion

2010-02-02T13:12:00.000-08:00

The girls are home sick today. Well, they were yesterday too, but we're usually home on Mondays so it didn't seem like such an interruption in our schedule. I had Amaya lay down, along with Tennyson. I just bought a new vaporizer for her room, and it was spewing water out the top, and making an awful, rhythmic, gurgling sound.

I asked Amaya if the sound would bother her. She said, "No, I'm a dark sleeper."

"What did you say?" I asked.

"I'm a dark sleeper. Tennyson's the light sleeper. The sound won't bother me."

"Oh... you mean a heavy sleeper," I responded.

She has heard us say over and over how 'light' of a sleeper Tennyson is. She automatically assumed that if Tennyson was a light sleeper, she was a dark sleeper. Nope... it's the other opposite of light... heavy.

It's in moments like these that I remember she isn't quite so grown-up yet. She seems to be on most occasions: she's reading now, doing double-digit addition, memorizing chapters of the Bible, and can carry on a very appropriate conversation with just about anyone, no matter their age.

I like that God still provides us moms with so many moments to teach! I suppose that these moments don't become less frequent as our children get older, but rather just change in their content.

Dutch Babies, Fat Babies, and...

2010-01-13T21:15:00.000-08:00

Dutch Babies... most of us probably know what these are. We call them German Pancakes at our house and they're our Sunday morning tradition for breakfast. You know the ones. As they bake in the oven, the sides travel up and over the pan in a light and fluffy goodness. Growing up, we always used lemon juice and powdered sugar to coat them; now, John, my somewhat picky husband, has convinced us all that syrup is a better option.

Fat Babies... these may not be as familiar to many of you. They certainly weren't to me until we visited my sister Hannah's house over Christmas. She has a Fat Baby collection... 8 to be exact. They're tucked away in boxes in her closet. She brings two out at a time. The newest edition of Fat Babies are always on her Birthday and Christmas lists. Boots... Ariat is the brand, Fat Baby is the style.

Boots were on my Christmas list. I was thinking of more the soft, Ugg style, type boot. My mom bought me a pair. Unfortunately, I looked like I belonged in the circus wearing them.
I returned them. And bought Fat Babies. While I keep trying to defend the fact that they aren't cowboy boots, they are sold at Coastal. They've been outlawed by the American Rodeo Association, but that's really my only recourse.

(these aren't mine...just an image I found)

I wore them for the first time yesterday. While I was taking Amaya to school, she told me that my 'Dutch Babies' were cute. I corrected her... a little too pridefully, saying "They're called FAT Babies, honey." (who came up with this name, anyway!)

Tennyson, who can only stand about two seconds of silence at any given time, had to pipe in. "I like your Fat Boobies, Mom." She really had no intention of being funny, but I busted up. So did Amaya.

"Honey, they're Fat BABIES, not boobies."

Tennyson, wearing her own set of actual cowboy boots responded, "Mom, yours are Fat Babies. Mine are Fat Boobies."

See what you've started, Hannah!

Wedding Plans

2009-12-09T19:08:00.001-08:00

I was almost out the door of Amaya's room after tucking her into bed when she stopped me.

"Mom, you are my best friend. So, you'll have to be the Maid of Honor at my wedding."

I didn't mention it would be Matron (very, very Matron!) instead. I was taken aback at the 'best friend' part. What a dear!

Cornerstone Ladies Getaway

2009-11-26T13:29:00.000-08:00

Save the Date
“Cornerstone Ladies Getaway”

February 26th-28th

Getaway with your favorite Cornerstone ladies and meet some new ladies, too!

Enjoy fellowship with friends.

Be inspired by the work God has done in the lives of four Cornerstone ladies as they share their testimonies.

Relax in Cascade Locks at the Best Western Columbia River Inn.

Refresh with free time to read, shop, sit in the hot tub, sleep in, and have a weekend free from cooking!

The Inn is beautiful, take a look at the blog we created http://cornerstonemoms.blogspot.com/(The Cornerstone Ladies Getaway is not just for moms, I already had the blog address with the “mom” title…this getaway is for ALL LADIES, young and wise!)

Registration begins January 10th, 2010

Cowgirl Up!

2009-11-08T14:02:00.000-08:00

We decided to dress the girls, again, in outfits we already had. I figured that if we keep doing this, they'll never have the expectation that outfits need to be bought or sewn or creatively construed! They both love matching each other! Tennyson only lasted a little while, but Amaya and her friend Olivia and the dads were 'hard core' and hit every store. Fun times!

Doesn't Amaya look old in this picture? I keep thinking this, so maybe I just need to adjust my mental picture to reflect what her actual age is!

Apples, Horses, and Pumpkins!

2009-10-26T13:02:00.000-07:00

Tennyson's First Horse Lesson

Picking Apples at Kiwokaya Orchards

Tennyson's surgery is postponed until this Thursday. She had an allergic reaction to the Tamiflu she was on the week before. It was dissapointing to have this happen, but I do understand the decision. She had quite an impressive rash. Thankfully, it only lasted a couple of days. She's well now (except for her seemingly chronic cold).

In the meantime... Tennyson has started horse lessons (she had to wait until she was three) and we went to the pumpkin patch (the girls had low grade fevers, but didn't feel bad). We thought this was the one place we could go and not infect too many people (can you tell we were desperate to leave the house!). The girls just got a mild case of the flu... they kept asking to do things, and I repeatedly said, "No." Their only symptoms were low grade fevers and occasional body aches.

We also did the Hood River Fruit loop one Saturday. It was beautiful weather... an absolutely perfect day as a family. We visited four orchards, and came home with 130pounds of apples. I thought that was a lot until John said that the man in front of him in line had 400 pounds.

While we were quarantined to the house we (my mom included... she's the best! I sliced my thumb pretty good the first day of peeling, so she peeled for about 6 hours) canned 25 quarts of applesauce, 8 pints of apple butter, and 16 quarts of apple pie filling. The girls found ways to help, and it's great to have some applesauce set aside for the winter. I have always wanted to do apple butter. I found a great slow-cooker recipe online. It cooked all night, and just needed to be processed the following morning. Totally worth it!

So long sleepless nights...

2009-10-08T21:35:00.000-07:00

That could be one of many benefits of making it through the day on October 22nd.

A couple of weeks ago, I was sitting on the couch filling out a lengthy medical history form for Tennyson. Her pediatrician and speech therapist had recommended we see an ENT doctor to have her evaluated. She had finished 2 courses of antibiotics with little change in her symptoms.

I got to the last page, and realized I was filling in a different column than the previous three pages. All the 'yes' boxes were checked.

Frequent ear infections: YES

Frequent sinus infections: YES

Restless sleeping habits: YES

Have you ever been told your child has fluid in their ears: YES

Speech concerns: YES

Snoring: YES

Flat tympanograms: YES

Sleep apnea: YES

This last symptom is what finally sealed the deal for me to have Tennyson evaluated. I really didn't want to put her through another surgery, but 'sleep apnea' isn't a symptom that is very conducive to being a functional human being.

'Pnea' means breathing. 'A' means without. Tennyson stops breathing at night.

When she stops breathing at night, she wakes up. When she wakes up, she comes into our room. When she comes into our room, she crawls in on my side. When she crawls in on my side, I wake up. When I wake up, I put her back to bed (most nights). When I put her back to bed, she goes back to sleep. When she goes back to sleep, she starts snoring. When she starts snoring, she eventually stops breathing. When she stops breathing at night, she wakes up.

This has been her life for the last couple of years. I can count on two hands the number of nights that she has stayed in bed all night. It's been exhausting, to say the least... for her, and us.

We went to the ENT. He was impressed with her list of symptoms and with the pediatrician's records. He had his audiologist do a hearing test, and Tennyson's tympanogram was completely flat. She had a 30% conductive hearing loss in both of her ears, accounting for some of her speech issues. When he came back in the room with a stack of paperwork, I knew what we were in for. She's having a T & A and tubes put in on October 22 at Emmanuel.

While I am nervous for her surgery and the recovery period, I am hopeful that this will take care of many issues for her. She has some unusual quirks, and many of these can be traced to her chronically inflamed tonsils, full adenoids, and fluid-filled ears.

We are anxious for a full recovery, and a healthy little girl... and some restful nights!

Tennyson's 3... It just can't be!

2009-09-28T14:44:00.000-07:00

Tennyson turned '3' yesterday. I really can't believe it! It seems like just yesterday that we were excitedly announcing our pregnancy to friends and family. I know every parent says this, but her three years have gone particularly fast!

She arrived on September 28, 2006 at 2am. Just a couple hours short of sharing a birthday with Grammy, my mom. When my blood pressure started to rise at 6pm the night before, mom and I started to talk about what it would be like for the two of them to share a birthday. I was rolled back to the OR for my C-section about 12:45am, so we knew it would be shortly after that.

Tennyson, you were exactly 6 weeks early (born on the same gestational day as Amaya-even in the womb, you wanted to be just like her! :). You spent just 5 days in the NICU, and then we brought you home. While the course of your birth and delivery were less than ideal, the course you followed resembled Amaya in so many ways that it was not quite as alarming as it could have been. We were somewhat prepared for the specific challenges that were ahead of us.

You didn't like to eat! Hard to imagine that now, but it was very real at the time! You had your NG on and off for about 4 months. You would tease us every so often, and eat really good for a couple of days. I would get anxious and pull it out. It never stayed out for more than a couple of days before you'ld start to taper off again.

By the time you were 4 months, we decided to have a GT placed in your tummy to give you a more permanent route of nutrition. We still tried to feed you by mouth, but we supplemented your feeds with your tube. You had this until 15 months. I'll never forget the day that we went up to OHSU to have it removed. By this time you had been eating well for a couple of months so we knew you'ld do fine without it. What a joyful day! We had much to be thankful for the following day: Thanksgiving!

You have been such a blessing in our family. I love seeing how you and Amaya interact. You are great friends.

You are laid back, spunky, loud, out-going (to a fault, some say, as you still give loves to strangers in the grocery store), and a wanderer. All of our friends know that you wander. Even other moms take precautions to make sure you don't wander. It's terrifying, actually. I've followed you in a public place for at least a block before you turned around to see if I was there.

You love oatmeal, German pancakes, fruit, and sausage. You have absolutely NO sweet tooth. You sometimes want to have one, so you always ask for a cupcake or a scoop of ice cream. But I have learned my lesson. One bite and you're done. I didn't even make you a cake for your birthday this year!

I did make German pancakes though.

For prosperity sake only, and at the risk of sounding like a boasting mother, I do have to say, you are quite beautiful. Especially after you turned '1', we would often get stopped by complete strangers who would comment on how 'cute' you were. You get your eyes from dad. We don't know, for sure, where your curls come from, but we'll enjoy them while they last. Not that I'm biased, but you are definitely the cutest three-year old girl I have ever seen!

This week you learned your first Bible verse. Appropriately, it was Genesis 1:1. You have said it over and over and over! I pray that God will continue to keep you in His grip. I love you, sweet girl!

Amaya seeing you for the first time in the NICU the day you were born.

Tennyson has a special connection with my dad, whom she calls 'Poppy'. Even at a young age, she would squeal with delight when he entered the room. He is always on her mind. She makes pictures for him, prays for him, talks to him on the phone (imaginary and real!), and saves all her kisses and hugs for him. He was the first one that she wanted to invite to her birthday party this year. We'll see if that's still the case when she's '15'. This was her 1rst birthday party.

She also loves horses. For awhile, we were thinking that maybe it was just because Amaya did. We've been convinced, however, that she has an affection all her own for them. She had her first riding lesson on Sunday, and did great! This was her 2nd Birthday.

Dinner is #1

2009-09-25T22:07:00.000-07:00

Amaya asked me yesterday, "So, guess which meal I like the best?"

I quickly responded with, "Breakfast." I thought this was a sure bet because she would eat breakfast foods any time of the day.

I was wrong. "No, Mom. I like dinner... because this is the time when we all get to eat together."

And this, coming off of a week when only one evening had the four of us gathered around the table (my second week of nursing orientation... I'm done now!). It served as a good reminder of the things that matter to my kiddos...can't take any shortcuts with this one!

A Lengthy Leiby Update :)

2009-09-20T15:24:00.000-07:00

Despite the obvious lack in my blogging efforts, lots has been going on around here! So, I'll try to be brief... although, that is one of the beauties of blogging. I'll never know if you read just the first sentence, skimmed the entire post, or read every word.

Things have been busy. Busy in a good way...but nonetheless busy. We went from being a '1' job family to a '4' job family. John was offerred a position through a friend to be the new Director of Operations at Summit Worldwide. They schedule freight transport across the United States. He works in a small office by the airport with about 5 other guys. He's travelled a little bit and looks forward to some international travel in January. He's scheduled to go to Singapore. A trip to Kenya is also on the books for next year... and, YES!, his wife hopes to be joining him! The company does a lot of work on the East Coast, so John starts his day at 6am. It's made for some early mornings which have seemed to have caught up with him as of late! He's down with a upper respiratory infection this weekend. He's also keeping up with Real Estate in the afternooons and evenings.

I also recently found a couple of part-time positions. I am working a couple of days a month at Gresham Surgery Center. They do mainly day surgeries. I am working in the Pre-op and Recovery areas, but will hopefully cross-train to the OR and Endoscopy later. It's a fun place with a totally different feel than what I was used to, being at a level one trauma center. I also accepted a position at Mt Hood Medical Center in their Short Stay Unit. I will be working a couple evenings a week there. Currently, I am meeting their nursing orientation requirement, which is full time for two weeks.

Last week was a struggle, I'll be honest. While we are thankful for the guarantee of finances every month, it has come at a price. Just being gone a week, I feel like I missed out on so many moments with the girls. I felt disconnected from them. All week, I kept telling myself, "Just wait until the weekend. You'll be able to make up for time lost." Nope.

Why? Because when you work full time during the week, Saturday is when you do all the other things that couldn't possibly get done during the week. It has made me sympathetic for the moms that do have to work for various reasons, and for the single moms who have no choice. It also has helped me appreciate the time I have had, and do have with the girls on a daily basis. While both scenarios are exhausting and stretching in their own right, I would much rather choose to be exhausted alongside my girls than apart from them.

Amaya asked me after my first day of orientation, "So now that you are working, who is going to be my full time mom?" I assurred her that, even now, if someone were to ask me, "What do you do?" I would answer, "I am a stay at home mom and wife with two great daughters and a loving husband."

Thanks to my amazing mom and dear friend Marlene, the girls have done great over the last week.

So, besides John and I both starting three new jobs in the last 2 weeks, there's been plenty else going on to keep us busy. Amaya started Kindergarten this week at Phonics Phactory, we're in the throes of the Soccer season, Tennyson turns '3' next week, and between now and October 8th, there are 12 more scheduled doctor appts on our calendar (we had 4 already this week).

Don't think I am complaining. I'm not by any means. We will settle in after this next week is over. I'll be back to my 'full-time mom' status with just a couple of shifts a week to be gone from home. I LOVE BEING HOME WITH MY KIDS... can I say that again! I love being home with my kids!

We were on our way to church this morning, and Amaya, very thoughtfully asked, "Why do some people not like Jesus?" We talked about this for a couple of minutes, and then she said, "Why did you and Daddy pick this church to go to?" I listed the reasons, which included that we thought it was a great place to have the girls learn more about Jesus.
Amaya responded, "So that way we won't be shy when we get to heaven."
I never thought about it like this, but it did make sense once I mulled it over for a moment. I love seeing things through a five-year old's eyes.

There are so many more things I could put in this Lengthy Leiby update, but maybe I'll just try being better about some more frequest updates. I am anticipating the regularity of Fall. It's my favorite season by a long shot: crisp mornings, picking apples, colorful leaves, cozy evening fires, pumpkin desserts and crockpot dinners. Mmmm, I love it. The hues of greens and oranges and yellows and reds...these are a few of my favorite things.

Amaya and her friend Harley. Amaya's playing on a Co-ed U6 team. She has scored a couple of goals, and has become known for her aggressiveness (couldn't think of a nicer word...it's not as bad as it sounds) on the field.

We were at the Jamboree a couple weeks ago. Amaya asked to use the port-a-potty. While I was standing outside waiting for her, she said through the door, "You know the only reason I wanted to play soccer was to get a trophy."

"No, I didn't know that... and you could have mentioned that before I signed you up. A trip to Goodwill would have cost a lot less."

And No, I didn't actually say this. But I did think it... and thought about it again on Saturday while I was sitting at her game... in the rain.

Amaya and Grammy at Oneonta Falls last weekend.

Amaya had the important job of holding the boat to the dock. She was very serious about it, but had no intentions of letting me help!

I am as tall as the 205 bridge... :)

First day of school!

For those of you wondering... yes, I cried. Kindergarten seems like a much bigger deal than preschool. It's so official. I'm thankful for Amaya's teacher, and for a couple of great friends she made last year. Of course, Amaya reported some hilarious accounts of her first day, but I will save those for a later post.

A precious moment at the beach with my girls

2009-09-09T15:04:00.000-07:00

The girls and I recently took a trip to the beach... just the three of us. It was such a precious time. Even though meals still had to be arranged (not always cooked by me), noses had to be wiped, hair needed to be fixed, and seatbelts needed to be fastened, we had such a blessed time. I got to focus just on them with minimal distractions to tear me away from their attention. The difference in our interactions was uncanny, and it served to be a good reminder for me to take advantage of these moments when we are home. During our first morning at the beach, I read to the girls Isaiah40:12:

Who has measured the waters in the hollow of his hand,

or with the breadth of his hand marked off the heavens?

Who has held the dust of the earth in a basket,

or weighed the mountains in the scales and the hills in a balance?

With my hands seeming quite large when measured against little Tennyson's, she was convinced that I could fit all the sand and ocean's water in my hands... and then Amaya had to try.

It was a precious moment as both the girls realized, in a practical way, the greatness of God!

Montana Trip 2009

2009-08-25T21:51:00.000-07:00

Tennyson's singing debut!

2009-08-12T20:56:00.000-07:00

Encouragement for my Mom Friends

2009-07-10T21:40:00.000-07:00

I am honoring a friend tomorrow who is about ready to deliver her second baby. She didn't want a fancy baby shower so, instead, we are going downtown to have lunch and shop. I was trying to compile a list of 'godly mom' qualities, and I came across this on christianmomsonline.net Not exactly what I was looking for, but definitely a blessing. I was very encouraged by the great reminders that so often slip away in the business of life. I printed these out to serve as my tangible reminder. I hope they are as much of a blessing to you as they were to me.

1. I will no longer compare myself to other moms. I have talents, quirks, and special qualities all my own, and I will start to own and (YES!) even celebrate them, beginning today. I will see my weaknesses as God’s opportunity to be my strength.

2. On the days when it gets so hard that I want to run out the door screaming and never come back, I will breathe. Slowly. And lock myself in the bathroom until I can gain control.

3. I will remember that I’m a good mom. After all, a bad mom doesn’t question whether or not she’s a good mom.

4. I will not gossip about other moms. Every mother has her own set of challenges, most of which I know nothing about. I will not demean or demoralize my fellow moms by talking about them behind their backs. And if someone else is gossiping, I will ask them to change the subject.

5. I will no longer say “yes” to everything that’s asked of me. I will be thoughtful, prayerful, and deliberate in making decisions. That way, my family won’t suffer when I say “yes” too easily.

6. I will no longer do everything for my kids. I want to raise them to be responsible, mature adults who can contribute to the world in amazing ways. This won’t happen if they can’t shop, cook, clean, and take care of themselves.

7. I will no longer put my husband on the end of the “to-do” list. I realize that the health of our relationship makes a huge difference in our kids’ well-being, so I choose to make time regularly for intimacy (of all kinds). Date nights, here we come!

8. I will ask for help when I need it, seek out other moms for mentoring, friendship and support, and make maintaining my friendships a priority (AND I will ask God to help me choose friends who understand when I’m swamped and can’t be there for them).

9. I will take care of myself by exercising and eating right, so that I can be a good steward of the body God’s given me (this one is tough for me, but I’ve seen the results of not taking care of myself and it ain’t pretty!)

10. I will make time to be still, even if it’s just for a few minutes a day. During that time, I will listen to God, meditate on His truths, and pray. And when I can, I will take longer stretches of time for Bible study. It’s my lifeline, and the only real source of peace and wisdom in this mixed-up world!

11. I will lighten up. I will laugh, and play, and enjoy my kids. I only get them for a short time (although the days are long, the years go by fast!), and they are a blessing, not a burden.

12. I will believe that God delights in me, loves me, and accepts me–just as I am. He is with me as I navigate the uncertainties of motherhood, and He will make up for my mistakes. I will lean on Him during the dark days, and serve Him, through serving my family, with a grateful heart.

See if you can adapt this “Mom-i-festo” to your own mothering journey. Who knows, maybe we can start a mothering revolution!

July 4th Craziness!!

2009-07-09T14:57:00.000-07:00

We had a great time at the Wilson's for July 4th. I heard Jen say a couple of times during the week leading up to the big day, "It'll be crazy, but I think it'll be crazy fun!" She was right!
We totalled 25 adults and 25 kids. We all brought suits and towels (at least for the kids!), chairs, and food. We had a great dinner together, and then Andy hooked up a hose to make a water slide out of their monstrous play structure. There was a little blow up pool at the end. Of course, Andy and Greg Moffat had to show the kids how to tackle the 'Slide of Death' (named per Andy). We all had a good laugh as they just about bypassed the kiddie pool at the bottom. Amaya and Tennyson were some of the brave ones to follow suit.
The kids then all took part in a 'parade' as we marched down to the neighborhood park. The parade was complete with instruments, flags, wagons, and lots of smiling faces. The participants totalled more than the onlookers, but the kids didn't care. It was fun to watch them get so excited.
All this fun... but really it was just beginning. The dads put on quite a show for all the moms and kids in the street. There was quite an assortment of fireworks to be lit off. Tennyson wasn't into the loud noises and unexpected shrills, so we hid out inside the house.
We then had dessert, and sleepily watched the show that we all missed our bedtimes for. It was well worth it. Sunday morning came fast, but with lots of good memories in tow.
Thanks, Wilsons! Can't wait till next year!

With the exception of 2, all the kids were 5 and under. There were 4 or 5 babies sleeping inside. They look like they could all be the same age from this picture.

Tennyson trying her first sparkler. Peer pressure helped out a little with this one. How could she resist all the fun everyone else was having?

Dear Amaya...

2009-07-06T22:41:00.000-07:00

To my dear, sweet girl. You turned five last Friday. Daddy and I both agreed it was one of the most fun days we've had as a family. I have spent lots of time reflecting on the last five years with you. I feel blessed to call you my daughter.

Swimming with Ellie on her birthday

Tubing with mom last Friday

In a way, five years has gone fast. But then I think about the day we found out I was pregnant, and it seems like a lifetime ago. We had only been married about 6 weeks when I took the first of four pregnancy tests. Daddy just couldn't believe that the first three were, in fact, accurate. We were elated! You have been a joy ever since.

I remember when you were two years old, and thinking, "I can 'do' two years old, but I would have no idea how to 'do' a five year old." And here you are... five already. You continue to challenge me, and motivate me to be a better mom.

You have a myriad of interests. Number one is horses. You just finished a horse camp this week. Most people have a hard time believing that you barrel raced on your own. Dad and I pulled you out of horse lessons to test you (and to save some money for awhile)... to make sure your interest would last. If anything it has grown.

You love to swim. You can swim the width of a 25 yard pool independently. You have claimed Bella, our chocalate lab as your own. You love thin pancakes, ebelskiever, cherries, sausage, and ice cream.

I love how you still get excited over little things... a new bloom on your marigold plant, a tattoo on your hand, a sticker at Fred Meyers, a popscicle before bed, giving Bella a treat, a snap pea straight from the garden.

I also love how sensitive and thoughtful you are towards other people. From a very young age, you have shown an uncanny ability to be empathetic and merciful. Family and friends frequently comment on these unique qualities that God has gifted you with. You often pray for people immediately upon hearing a need. You still want to pray for every ambulance that goes by, a habit we started when you were just two years old.

You have had to be strong beyond your age the last couple of years, and you have graciously risen to the task. All without a complaint. I never would have foretold that my five year old could be a strength in my time of weakness.

You are, without a doubt, the BEST big sister in the world. The moments that you share with Tennyson are priceless. She adores you, and wants nothing else during the day except to follow you around. If you aren't close by, she wanders around like a lost puppy saying, "Where's my sissy?" You are the one that Tennyson wants first thing in the morning, or when she gets hurt. I love that!

Your affection for spiritual things is also beyond your years. At three years old, your favorite thing to watch was the GOSPEL of JOHN. You had Jesus' miracles memorized in order.

In the last few months, you have begun to ask some deeper questions, and we have wrestled with how difficult it is to fight our sinful nature. You voice your frustration in this, and many times, there is nothing to do but pray. We do a lot of praying. You process things by talking (like your dad), so we also do a lot of talking. I treasure these times.

I love you more than words can say. I could go on and on about how great you are. Most of all, I want to thank God for giving you to us. That He chose for us to be your caretakers on earth is a privilege. I humbly accept the task of directing your precious heart to Him. I love you, Amaya.

Birthday party, Rodeo, Soccer Camp, and Strawberries

2009-07-01T14:22:00.000-07:00

(click on collage to enlarge)

Amaya had her 5th birthday party on June 18th. She had most of the girls from her class come, along with some girls from church. Much to my surprise, she wanted a 'hula girl' party. She had no idea what the 'hula' was, so she ended up being very content with a fun Luau theme. We had such a great time. The girls planted flowers in little pots that they decorated with Hawaiian stickers, they broke open a pinata, played in the sandbox, and tried to out do each other on the teeter-totter. It was fun for all the girls to be together again, after having been out of school for a few weeks.
Amaya's birthday isn't until July 3rd, so we look forward to some more celebrating.

Our not-so-little cowgirl. We went to the Sister's Rodeo with my parents. We camped out for the weekend, went to the Rodeo parade, and then to the Rodeo on Saturday night. The girls had a blast. My parents gave Amaya an early birthday present, so she could be decked out for the big event.
She was all smiles when a bunch of people commented on her outfit. She was even more excited when the Rodeo princesses came by, and autographed some pictures for her. I never thought I would be hanging pics of Rodeo princesses in my 5 year old's room. I guess there are worse things...

A movie night for Father's Day. After a BBQ and some strawberry shortcake, we all camped out in the living room for a movie with my dad and John. It'wasn't quite the relaxing evening we envisioned, but fun nonetheless.
Tennyson never sat still for more than 5 minutes.

Amaya loved her soccer camp, despite the excitement that happenned on Tuesday.

There were four girls from Amaya's class at school that were doing the camp. It was fun to get to know the moms better as we sat and watched. Here are all the younger sisters looking on...

The girls and I went and picked strawberries last weekend while John worked. It was cute to see how excited they got. Tennyson was showing everyone that passed us her bucket, saying, Look at how many I got!" She had maybe 10 berries in her very large container.

She probably ate 10 berries for every 1 she picked. Amaya actually was a great help. She picked about three pounds. I was a little over zealous when I was gathering containers at home, and envisioning a freezer full of jam and berries. We picked about 15 pounds in 2 hours.

The results!

We were on out way to a graduation party, and I had to snap this picture of the girls! Sometimes, I still can't believe how blessed we are!

Too young to know about shootings!

2009-06-23T22:50:00.000-07:00

Amaya's quotes from the day:

1. "If you shoot somebody that's bad, will you still go to jail?"
2. "What happens to the person's money when they go to jail?"
3. "Have they caught the other two suspects yet?"
4. "So kids get spankings and time-outs, but adults have to go to jail when they do something bad?"
5. "Mom, I can't sleep. I just want to be with you."

Usually my response to this last one is simple... "Amaya, get back in bed. I have been with you all day... I'm right downstairs."

Today, we snuggled up on the couch together... and talked and kissed and hugged and talked some more. We were thankful just to be together.

I signed up the girls for a free soccer camp this week. It sounded almost too good to be true: FREE, it started at age 3, so Tennyson (theoretically) could be a part of it too, and free goods: t-shirt, water bottle, shin guards, soccer ball, and Bible.

Tennyson wasn't too interested yesterday, but Amaya had a blast, despite some disorganization on the camp's part. She was just happy to be on a team with friends from school. She's usually my laid-back morning kid, wanting to stay in her pajamas until the last possible minute. This morning, she was dressed before she even came downstairs.

What started out as a joyous morning turned out to be very frightening. About half way through the camp, there was a loud gun shot. There wasn't immediate panic... even Tennyson asked what the sound was, and I blew it off as a tire back firing. Not 30 seconds later, a lady rushed by and said, "Grab your kids. It WAS a gun shot."

We were at some soccer fields at a private school in Rockwood. In front of the fields was a Mexican Tienda where the attempted robberry occurred. The thief shot his gun while the store owner and some shoppers tried to pin him down. The altercation was less than 50 yards from the soccer fields. All 150 kids, parents, and younger siblings were shuffled to the back of the field to avoid any further danger. The soccer coaches and instructors rallied around, trying to keep kids calm.

I immediately grabbed Tennyson in my arms, shouted for Amaya, and bolted for the back forty. My next thought went to all the kids at the camp who didn't have parents standing by to grab them, comfort them, and love on them. I was grateful that I was the one explaining the situation to my children and not some other adult who only had known my kids for a few hours.

Emotions ran high. The thought of being so close to something that could have potentially turned very tragic was in the forefront of my mind. An open field. Masses of people. Desperate gunmen. Thank you, Lord, for your protection.

The gunmen was arrested by police, while two other men drove off in a 4 door white sedan. As far as I know, they have not been apprehended. I am thankful for the many circumstances that made today safer:
-A friend's husband, who is a Gresham Police Officer, decided to accompany his family to the camp on his day off. He was first on the scene, and called 911.
-Tennyson wasn't involved in her part of the camp, which allowed me to be right by Amaya when this happenned.
-T and I went to our car to get water, and returned to the field just before the gun shot rang out, which was only a few yards from our car.
-Having so many friends that were there with us. It was nice to be huddled together while we waited for the policemen to clear the parking lots. I was so thankful to have other moms and my girls' friends surrounding us. It was nice, also, to have people to debrief with during the day. Jen, Christine, Mars, Heidi, and Tricia- love you each so much (and all your kids too!)

Amaya and I have talked about this, in some way, over and over and over today. She processes through things by talking, so this is what we did. It served to be a great opportunity to talk about our sinful nature, the consequences that come with every bad decision that we make, and that God does not want us to live in fear.

I constantly remind Amaya and Tennyson to be bright lights in whatever situation they are in. We had just talked about that this morning.

For that reason, plus a few others, we are returning to the camp tomorrow. Amaya asked if it would happen again. I told her that I couldn't guarantee that. But what a good reminder for us to cover our days in prayer, and step out in faith. God will protect us. We cannot thwart his plan. We do need to continue to be bright lights, especially in a world where evil can seemingly flip the switch.

Last of the Idaho pics

2009-05-24T14:27:00.000-07:00

For some reason, I couldn't these pics to post all together, so there in about 4 different posts.

The Leiby clan!

Amaya and Bella, the horse lovers!

More Family Pics from Idaho

2009-05-24T14:25:00.000-07:00

The NEW BOAT. It's a beauty. We acquired the old. We'll have fun with that one too!

Amaya pushing Uncle Jim in!

The three older cousins! Amaya had a perma-grin the whole time. That girl loves tubing!

Almost asleep. That's what being woken up at 4am, a 7 hour car ride, and playing on a boat with cousins will do to a two year old.

Gigi and Cousins!

2009-05-24T14:10:00.000-07:00

My grandparents live in Fresno, CA. They came in March. Thought I would throw this in. They were reading together.

Matching sisters...

Mothers Day at the park. Mom was in CA with Em.

Cousins Jackson and Bella in Idaho. We went to help celebrate their mom's graduation from nursing school. They also just go a new boat. So we had a great time playing around on the river.

Gardening

2009-05-24T13:53:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I give John a bad time about going overbaord on things (ask him to go to the grocery store to get 5 apples, and he'll come home with 15). This time, however, I was thankful for this quality... because he made some awesome garden beds.

We just finished planting yesterday. We did some of our own starts inside (sugar snap peas, cherry roses, dill, cilantro, beets, and corn), and then added to it with some starts from a local nursery. I think in a couple of months, we'll be sorry to have planted so much. Since this is out first venture into gardening, I wanted to try out a bunch of different things. We'll see what happens...
For the record (so it's documented for next year), we tried mini pumpkins, corn, eggplant, kohlrabi, sugar snap peas, cucumbers, green and yellow peppers, 3 varieties of tomatoes, onions, beets, 2 kinds of lettuce, yellow zucchini, dill, chives, basil, cilantro, cherry roses, and mexican sunflowers.

Gardening, Hannah's graduation, and Em's visit

2009-05-24T13:19:00.000-07:00

Seems like it has been forever since I last posted... and it has. The pictures below will tell the story of all we've been up to in the last month.

Thursday morning, we were all sitting (well... I wasn't, but John and the girls were) down to breakfast... I was getting silverware out, flipping pancakes, taking drink orders, and listening to Tennyson say, "Mommy" over and over and over. I am pretty sure I acknowledged her, but there was nothing else coming out of her mouth except, "Mommy."

John proceeded to tell her, "Tennyson, say 'Mommy' once."

Her response? "Mommy once."

I addition to the treat of having Dad home for breakfast, we all started our morning off with a good laugh!

Messed up on my 'posting order'... pics were before this!

This is what I get for spanking!

2009-04-20T13:38:00.000-07:00

A couple of weeks ago, if someone would have asked me if Tennyson was obedient, compliant, and respectful, I would have answered with a resounding, "Yes."

Now... not so much.

During the last two weeks, she has learned (and is continuing to perfect) how to express her independence. I guess Mom needed to be reminded that she, even with her dowdy lips and big blue eyes, also has a very intact sinful nature!

Today, on the way home from the store, she took the straw out of her cup, proceeded to tip her cup upside down and pour apple juice all over her pants and car seat. I told her to stop; however, I did not take the cup away. I wanted to give her a chance to obey me.

Not five seconds later, she was at it again. By the time I looked back, she was soaked. We were about three minutes from home, and I told her she would get a spanking right when we got home. The anticipation of this event sent her into a good cry.

When we got home, I instructed her to go inside, take off her clothes, and wait for me on the couch. I unloaded the groceries from the car, and walked over to her. I gave her two swats on her bare little bottom (she took her underwear off along with her pants). I picked her up, reminded her of Ephesians 6:1, and she snuggled in.

Through the tears and hysteria, she proceeded to pee all down the front of me. I guess she wanted me, too, to know how much fun it is to be drenched... with clothes on.

Late Easter Pics!

2009-04-14T09:31:00.000-07:00

We had a wonderful Easter!

It started off great with Amaya receiving her own set of Resurrection Eggs on Palm Sunday in Sunday School. Every morning the following week, we opened two of the eggs, and read about the significance of what treasure was hiding in those specific eggs (a donkey, a stone, a crown of thorns, the cross, etc). They served to be a great tool for teaching her the more intricate details of the story. Thanks, Jenne!

On Thursday, we took off for the beach with my parents, and Stefan and Julia. Stefan was a German exchange student who lived in out house for a year during my junior year in high school. He has become like a brother, visiting at least once a year, and this time bringing his girlfriend Julia. Em and I had the privilege of visiting his home in Germany about 9 years ago.

On Sunday morning, both the girls participated in a little program at church. What a joy to see Tennyson up there doing the motions to 'He's Alive' and chiming in about every 5th word of the Lord's Prayer.

Tennyson, Easter morning

Amaya, Easter morning

Our deformed breakfast bunny. The girls didn't seemed to mind...

Coloring eggs on Saturday night. Funny to see the girls' personalities shine through in their egg-coloring. Amaya just wanted to do four (because there's four of us in our family), and spent a lot of time on each egg, perfecting the shade, and making sure Tennyson's hands were far away!

Tennyson, on the other hand, colored over 24 eggs in about 10 minutes... and then was done.

Coloring eggs with Stefan and Julia at the beach

Little lovebirds...

Catching up!

2009-04-03T21:04:00.000-07:00

Ahh... to be back blogging. I realized that for me, blogging is not something I do unless everything else on my list is done... and when does that ever happen! When I actually sit down to blog, though, I totally enjoy it!

Thinking back, we actually have done a lot of fun things the last couple of months: Great Wolf Lodge (thanks, Nathan and Heidi), a kids Valentines party, having my sister's family here, going to the beach with Grammy for a couple of days, making bread... successfully, planting our first seedlings for a garden, and celebrating Tennyson's half-birthday.

Everyday, I have learned, can have pockets of joy, no matter where we are or what the circumstances. We are in Christ, we are a new creation, the old is gone, and the new has come!

Tennyson and Kyler

Amaya and Kyler

The girls have always loved being in my parents' hot tub. It was extra fun to share this time with Jagger and Uncle Josh. All the pictures with them in the hot tub, however, also included Amaya... nude! Yes, mom forgot her suit.

Again.

I thought Blogger might just step in and slap my hand for posting those, so here's a safe one of T.

Tractor rides with Poppy... another hit at Poppy and Grammy's house.

Out of about 12 pics, this was the best one, and didn't even have the boys in it! Ugh...

During the clothes sale, Grammy was in charge of all 5 girls. And she thought it would be fun to make flubber...

"I wanna stir."

"No, I want tooo!".

Grammy gave in. They all got to... at once.

St. Pattys Day attire from Nana

Amaya's Sunflower Program at school! You can fit a lot of songs into a 10 minute preschool program! She did great.

Thanks, Grammy, for treating us to a great couple of days at the beach during Spring Break. We had so much fun playing in the sand, picking songs on the juke box, dancing in the basement, eating out. Next time, though, I'll plan the menu. :)

I got the idea to celebrate half birthdays from a friend of mine. Amaya has loved the tradition. Tennyson probably would not have known the difference this go around, but Amaya was counting down the days for her. Tennyson turned 2 1/2 on March 28th. She got to pick her dinner... mac-n-cheese, chicken nuggets, cantaloupe, blueberries, and apple juice.
Amaya told her little sister, "Happy Half Birthday, Sis" over 30 times that day.
At dinner, we actually had to scold them for hugging and kissing each other so much. I warmed their food up twice. This won't ever end, will it?
Amaya picked out a little gift and wrapped it herself. It was a fun day!

Girls Clothes Sale a Success!

2009-03-14T10:54:00.000-07:00

My sis-in-law Heidi and I decided to have a little girls clothes sale this weekend. As Tennyson outgrew things, I was taking them to Goodwill at first, but then began feeling guilty for 'wasting' so many opportunities to make some cash.
Our family has great success with garage sales, but every time I do one, I say it will be my last! When Tennyson was about 12 months, I couldn't bring myself to take any more bags to Goodwill. I started stashing them in the garage. I was up to about 5 bins...
I used to buy 'ahead' for the girls, up to a year at times. As Spring rounded the corner, I knew I would need to buy Amaya (everything's passed on to Tennyson!) a few things for Spring and Summer. Now was the time to have a sale.
Amaya has been my little sales associate... taking clothes out of people's hands to give them more room to fill up again, and giving change.
Five of us went in and compiled quite a lot of girl clothes! We had great success on Friday (we sold about $650 worth of clothes!). Today's been a little slower, so we are going to close down early, and do it again next Friday. Thanks, Heidi, Amy, Anne, and Mom for contributing and helping to make it a success.

Amaya says...

2009-02-04T07:54:00.000-08:00

1) John was putting Amaya to bed the other night and she said, out of the blue...
"I don't want Tennyson to get married... ever."
"Why?" John replied.
"Because then she won't be my best friend anymore."

2) To mom, 3 days ago, "I am so excited to see Ellie. She's my best friend. Well... except for my crazy sister, of course!"

3) Last night at the dinner table, Amaya was squirming around in her chair. I told her to stop. Tennyson, who is in the habit of repeating EVERYTHING she hears, said, "Stop, Amaya."
Amaya responded with, "I don't need another parent, Tennyson."

Competition for the 'Cutest Boy' award

2009-01-31T14:57:00.000-08:00

This last week, I went to California to spend some time with my sister Emily, husband Josh, and their two boys, Jagger and Kyler. Jagger is 18 months old, and Kyler is about 6 weeks. We had a great time together. She was able to come see me when I had the girls, and so I felt blessed to return the favor. I don't know how much help I was (she had it pretty well together!), but I sure did have fun seeing how different a household with two boys was. I said we should compare numbers of cars with numbers of horses (yes, in our house, it's not baby dolls, but horses!). It would be a close call.
I challenge any one of my readers to show me a picture of a cuter boy!
Thanks, Em, for the good nights of sleep, chats of motherhood, our 'date night' (actually, thanks to Josh, for this one!), and sharing your daily routine with me. I miss you here, but I love that we get to spend quality time when we are together. See you in a couple of weeks... on female turf!

Yeah!! Some great news!

2009-01-15T14:41:00.000-08:00

I am elated!
We just received a full 'refund' from my surgery in Mexico. I can't believe it... Having that money back does lessen the blow of what happenned. At least we are back to square one, instead of in a deficit.
We'll definitely be using some of that to pursue a more traditional form of weight loss... healthier (and usually more pricey) grocery shopping, some handheld weights to finally become acquainted with my Jillian Michaels exercise video, and perhaps even a gym membership. Back to the grind, I guess. It does beat having my tummy cut open twice in four days!

A note about Amaya:
She said the sweetest prayer last night: "Dear Jesus, I just want to pray for Allison (Strandberg) and her family. Help them not to be too sad without their grandma. I pray for their grandma too, but I know she's up in heaven with you. Please take care of her. Amen."

I didn't even realize that Amaya knew Allison. Every age is my favorite, but I do LOVE age '4'. It seems like Amaya is really gaining the ability to think outside of herself, and have some more accurate perspective of others' needs and emotions. Man, I just love that girl!

Happy New Year... a day late

2009-01-02T21:58:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year!
Usually, for me, New Years is a bit anti-climactic after the Christmas festivities. This year, however, I feel different.
I am excited about starting fresh, with the opportunity to leave some of last year's events in the past, and look forward to the year God has for our family. I am thankful for the trials we faced, and I trust that God will use them to bring us closer to Himself. Facing the year ahead, I am filled with hope.
I am not normally in the practice of making New Year's resolutions, let alone announcing them to the public. So, here's to something NEW for the new year.

1. Spend time praying everyday, besides just at meals and bedtimes.

2. Be intentional with teaching the Bible to my girls everyday.

3. Lose 8-10 pounds/month until I am at my goal weight.

4. Get up at 6am five mornings a week to exercise (the getting up at 6 is probably harder for me than the actual exercise).

5. Have my A1C below 7.5mg/dl.

6. Learn how to better encourage members of my family.

7. Quiet my voice with the girls when disciplining or 'rushing' them out the door.

8. To put my husband's needs ahead of my own and the girls', to build him up as the head of our house, and the respected leader of our family (this one should probably be #1 for me).

9. To never have Amaya say to John and I, "Mommy and Daddy, that's not how Jesus wants you to be talking to each other."

No, they are probably not written in a way that the experts would approve of... with short and definable goals, but these nine things are important to my health and the health of our family.
Please feel free to remind me of these resolutions at any time, but also know they are posted strategically around our house (like on the refrigerator door!).

Christmas Fun All Around!

2009-01-01T13:28:00.000-08:00

We had a great time at my folks' house Christmas Eve. It was a flurry of girls and gifts. So far, we have 5 little girls in the Oregon families under the age of 5... and another one on the way. It's always nice to have Em and Josh come up from CA and contribute some 'boy' energy to the mix. Thanks, mom and dad, for the wonderful family celebration. The girls will have wonderful memories of this special Christmas.

Dad reading the Christmas story. He really did it in the form of questions, and it was fun to see how much the girls knew. Even the littlest ones chimed in once in awhile!

Cupcakes that read 'Happy Birthday Jesus!'.

The girls opened their annual 'Christmas Pajamas' and then their first set of pink 'Tinkertoys'.

There was even some cousin rough-housin' going on.

Tennyson got a 'horse' music box. A little horse spins around while the music is playing. Great idea, Mom! She wanted to sleep with it that night like it had soft edges and was cuddly.

Aren't they cute!

Christmas morning at our house... just the four of us. Even at 4, Amaya preferred some snuggle time in our bed before rushing downstairs to see her stocking. I'm sure that won't last many more years!

Nana made the girls bags to put their gifts in. Great idea!

Thanks Nana and Papa!

And again... the perfect gift! Anything to do with horses...

I made Amaya a horse blanket. She loved it!

We had our Christmas Service at church a week late. Amaya was an angel in the kid's program. Tennyson was a little distraught that she didn't get to join her sister... next year!

Arctic Blast finally here!

2008-12-24T13:35:00.000-08:00

We have essentially been 'snowed in' for about 5 days. We have made it out for the 'must haves', but that's about it. John has been home for almost a week, and we have enjoyed some great family time. We will be venturing to Sandy in a bit to spend Christmas Eve with my parents and brother's family.

May you all have a very merry Christmas, and experience the joy of the Messiah's coming to earth as a baby. We are especially fond of remembering our out-of-town family this time of year. We wish that we could have our own celebration with each one of you. Know you are close to our hearts.

Baking, baking, and more baking!

2008-12-24T13:27:00.000-08:00

The girls and I have had a great time baking. We needed something to keep our hands busy and it was great to deliver trays to some family and friends before the worst of the weather.

Yes, their hands were clean!

These were reindeer cupcakes we originally made for kids in Amaya's classroom. Since school was cancelled, we put them on the trays for the other kids in our lives.

My new nephew!

2008-12-18T22:33:00.000-08:00

Introducing Kyler David Bishop! My sister Emily and her husband live in southern California. They have an 18 month old, Jagger, and now another beautiful son.

Emily had a TV movie delivery on December 3rd at 2:43 pm. They arrived at the hospital only 20 minutes before Kyler was born. Needless to say, she didn't get the comfy delivery (are they ever!) she was hoping for, but luckily only had to push for a couple minutes.

Kyler, we can't wait to meet you! You are blessed with amazing parents. I am especially partial to your mom. She is my younger sister by six years, but now my closest friend. It is exciting to be in the same stage of life as her. I know you will appreciate her, too, as you get older. If I see that you are not, I will make sure to remind you just how special she is. I love you, Em.

Christmas Card Pics

2008-12-18T21:59:00.000-08:00

Before we headed south to Mexico, one of the things on my list to get done was to get pictures taken of the girls, and send off Christmas cards. We had fun on Thanksgiving Day taking a hundred pictures of the girls out at my parent's house (thank goodness for digital).

We have been homebound for the last few days due to ARCTIC BLAST 2008. My sister-in-law and I were discussing that perhaps the news channels and Les Schwab are conspiring with each other. Having lived in Chicago and being married to a man from Montana, this is hardly an arctic blast.

I have mixed emotions about the weather. It is truly beautiful, and certainly adds meaning to the prospect of a winter wonderland here in the Northwest; however, Amaya has missed school all week, and was quite dissapointed about missing her first school Christmas program, having mom help out in class, and her class Christmas party. The reindeer cupcakes we made were pretty cute, I must say.

The girls and I have had some great time together during the last few days, and I am thankful for the forced opportunity to stay home, and bypass the usual hustle of this week before Christmas. I am feeling better with each day that passes, and am anxious to return to normalcy. The physical pain will long be outlived by the emotional pain that accompanies this experience.

Showered with kisses!!

2008-12-13T13:30:00.000-08:00

Blogging has been near the top of my to-do list for quite some time. The problem is that the few things that are actually at the top of the list have also been a struggle to get done. We are in survival mode around here, which I usually detest, but due to recent circumstances, am happy to settle into for a bit longer.

November 20th is when this story began... actually, years before then. I have always struggled with my weight. I am a champion dieter, having tried over 15 different dieting gimmicks. Some worked and some didn't. I would lose weight only to put it back on later. Even in high school, I felt different than many of my peers who were thin and seemed to be without worry.

Weight is all a matter of perspective for me. During high school, I felt very fat and overweight, despite being a great swimmer and water polo player. Now I would give almost anything to be down to my high school graduating weight.

Wrongly, I have felt for years that if I lost weight, many of my 'problems and worries' would dissipate. Since having back surgery in October, 2007, I have gained about 30 pounds... stubborn, stubborn pounds which seem to resist vacating my thighs, stomach, and cheeks (both sets.)

In the last year, my health has worsened and I began looking for an 'out of the box' way to get rid of my extra poundage once and for all. It began consuming my mind. I would think about my weight multiple times every day, and it began crippling the joy I used to have.

I started to consider weight loss surgery. To make a very long journey short ( and readable), we found out that the insurance we self pay for every month did not cover this type of surgery.

Since John is a real estate agent and I am not working right now, we pay $900/month for insurance. Our family has been inundated with medical issues this last year, so most of the time we thank God for our insurance. This time we did not! Frustration seemed to pervade our spirits. Families who have Oregon Health Plan, Medicare, or Medicaid can qualify for the surgery, but we could not. We tried to appeal, to no avail.

I felt like I was left with one option: MEXICO. There are well-trained surgeons there who will perform the LAP-BAND surgery for a fraction of the price it would be to pay for it here.

We got creative with finances, pulled out some retirement, and prepared for a life-changing surgery. If you know me at all, you know I don't make decisions lightly, and so I spent hours and hours online researching and communicating with various surgeons. I narrowed it down and my surgery was scheduled for December 1, 2008. I did a 10-day pre-op liquid diet, and then John and I made the trip to Tijuana.

We returned home on December 3rd, and I was hopeful for my weight loss to begin. All of our Christmas preparation was done... getting a tree, decorating the house, buying and wrapping presents...all by the Saturday after Thanksgiving.

Less than 24 hours after returning home, my pain was worsening, and I began having chills. We went to the ER over at Mt Hood. John thought I would be given some better pain medicine and we would be sent on our way; I knew the process would not be that quick. Walking into the hospital I bet John that I would be admitted for at least a couple of days. He glanced at me, incredulously. Little did we know...

We checked into the ER about 9pm. I was rushed to Good Samaritan to be treated by a leading Bariatric surgeon in Portland. I was in surgery by 5:30am. The results of the surgery would not be made known to me until I returned to my room about 8am. I had several pockets of infected fluid, and my lap band needed to be removed. I was devastated. Still am.

What promised to be a successful plan for weight loss (loss of 90 pounds over the next 10 months) turned into a really dissapointing trial. I have 9 incisions on my abdomen, one which is open and needs to be 'packed' once a day. I am still in a lot pain, and have a myriad of differing emotions flooding my mind.

Dissapointment for the loss of what I thought might bring an end to my struggle with weight.
Guilty for using a lot of money on what ended up being a futile process.
Anger that the doctor in Mexico will not take responsibility for his involvement in introducing a very rare bacteria into my body.
Guilty for 'using up' and taking away some of the Christmas season from Amaya and Tennyson.
Thankful for my understanding husband, parents, and daughters.

Amaya, as she showered my tear-stained face with kisses, the other morning, said, "Mom, you don't have to be a perfect mom to still be the best mommy ever." I love that girl!

Eight little words

2008-11-18T08:49:00.000-08:00

I usually post the funny things Amaya says, or how she says them. Amaya is a thinker and very inquisitive... I could publish a new post every day. However, Tennyson is learning to express herself, and her lack of language can be just as comical!
I was putting her to bed a couple of nights ago, and she started out with a common thread to a lot of what she says... concern for what her big sister is doing.

Tennyson: Amaya nigh-nigh?

Mommy: Yes, Amaya is going night-night.

Tennyson: Daddy yay?

Mommy: Yes, Daddy is laying with Amaya.

Tennyson: No books?

Mommy: No books tonight.

Tennyson: Too lay?

Mommy: Yes, it is too late.

With just eight little words, she expressed herself in a way I could totally understand. It's fascinating to me how language develops in little ones. It's yet another testament to God's genius in creation!

Amaya, the Military, and Dogs

2008-11-13T02:41:00.000-08:00

The military recently came up during a conversation that John and I were having with Amaya.

Amaya: What's the military?

Mom: The military is a group of men and women who have chosen to protect and serve our country. Some do it here in the United States, and some do it in other parts of the world where it can be really dangerous. Lots of them make a lot of sacrifices to protect the freedom we have in this country.

Amaya: Why do we need people for that (with an astounded look on her face)? We have dogs to do that!

Watch out world! Our six year old, slightly overweight, 'I bark only at chipmunks' chocolate lab is coming to protect you.

Leiby girls no longer 'deprived'

2008-11-03T13:17:00.000-08:00

Tennyson loved her zebra costume! Thanks, Leah.

I thought for sure Tennyson would want to follow in Amaya's footsteps, and be a princess, but as soon as I told her that zebra's are actually in the horse family, she was content!

Our Cinderelly!

Halloween usually comes and goes in our family without so much as a mention of 'trick or treating' or dressing up; however, this year Amaya is '4', in school, and around a lot more kids than her preveiously sheltered life allowed her to be. Needless to say, Halloween reared it's head this year, and we caved. Amaya and Tennyson both got to dress up, and participated in a little daylight 'trick or treating'. A fun time was had by all!

As for next year? We'll see... I personally appreciated our 'let's be set apart' approach, but those big bags of candy make for some good snakin' after the girls are sound asleep!

To the Pumpkin Patch!

2008-10-21T14:52:00.000-07:00

We went to Liepold's Pumpkin Patch last weekend as a family. What a fun place... for the kids, that is! And that means it is fun for the adults too, right... I think I much prefer the traditional pumpkin patch with maybe a hay ride, but I know the girls enjoyed this. Now that Tennyson is '2', it seems like she is experiencing everything for the first time. She's looking at things with fresh eyes. Amaya takes every opportunity to get some loves in, even if they are not reciprocated by her sister!

From Orchard to Oven to Mouth

2008-10-11T21:32:00.000-07:00

What a great time we had! This was my first time doing the Hood River Fruit Loop with the girls. We went to two farms. The weather was perfect, the apples were huge, and the girls (yes, all six of them) were happy. A great combination for success.
We started at Donut World in Gresham for the kids, drove thru Starbucks for the mamas, and began our qwest for apples. We picked about 200 pounds of apples in about a half hour... and that time even included some good sample tasting, some potty squatting, and some apple squashing! Thanks for the fun Friday morning, Holly and Heidi.
Amaya, Tennyson, and I made our first apple pie of the Fall. Poppy was over for dinner. Daddy and Poppy gave their thumbs up as they splurged on pie and ice cream.
Can't wait to can some applesauce for this winter. Thanks to you, Holly, if all else fails, we'll have blueberries and applesauce all winter! Mmmm...

Jagger Update #4

2008-10-10T16:46:00.001-07:00

Jagger is doing much better! He finally got a small stretch of sleep last night, which provided Emily the opportunity to get some sleep as well. His pain is being pretty well controlled. It makes him a little wobbly when he is trying to walk, so he's been out of his room, mostly in the stroller. When I talked to Emily this morning, they were expecting to be discharged sometime today. All of his tubes were out, except the IV. Praise God for a quick stay in the hospital. I think everyone involved is eager to get Jagger home.

Jagger Update #3

2008-10-09T13:52:00.000-07:00

Jagger had a good night, medically speaking. He barely slept, and was quite restless, but mom reports this morning that he finally took a 2 1/2 hour nap. His catheter is out, he is off his blood pressure medicine, and the nurses are trying to wean him to Tylenol with Codeine so that he can go to the regular floor. He has been able to have some liquids, and everyone was hoping he could have some solids this afternoon. He is quite hungry!
The rest of the family is doing well. Emily was going to try to get some sleep this afternoon while mom and Candy and Josh were in with Jagger. She had some contractions yesterday, as well as some swelling in one of her legs. Please keep praying.
Despite some inconveniences (minimal sleep and food!), Jagger is recovering well. Praise God! I will update again tonight.

#2 Update on Jagger

2008-10-08T20:13:00.000-07:00

Jagger is in the PICU, off the ventilator, and doing well. Mom reports that the nurses have all been great, and Jagger has been a real trooper. The nurses indicated that one-year olds are usually a difficult age group to care for, but they have been impressed with how sweet, laid back and 'distractable' Jagger is.
He still is hooked up to many things, some of which need to be discontinued before he can go to the regular pediatric floor. His blood pressure is high, but it seems this is fairly common after this extent of surgery. He said 'hi' to Josh, and smiled for mom (you know that made her day!)... hard to believe! I can say with absolute certainty that I would not be smiling so soon after getting my chest cut open. Aren't kids wonderful!!
Emily and Josh say the Ronald McDonald House is wonderful... a huge answer to prayer. The church that Josh works for lavished gifts on them... books for Jagger, restaurant gift certificates, paid for all expenses at the Ronald McDonald House, and much more. Praise God for these acts of kindness in such a time of need.
Mom said she would call in the morning, unless something changes tonight. She said Em was feeling quite 'helpless' tonight, as Jagger was having some pain. Please keep her in your prayers as well.

Update on Jagger...

2008-10-08T14:52:00.000-07:00

Jagger came out of surgery well. The surgeon reported that there was not anything unexpected except that they found another small atrial septal defect, which they stitched together. The other defect is now patched, and the arteries that were joined together on the right side have been separated and rerouted. They were trying to get Jagger off the ventilator before they took him to the PICU.
When I talked to mom, Emily and Josh had not been able to see Jagger yet. They were hoping they wouldn't have to wait much longer. Lots of family and friends were there to support Josh and Em during surgery. Thanks for praying. Let's continue to lift them up in prayer as the next few days will be crucial to his recovery.

Little Jagger's Surgery... please pray!

2008-10-07T22:32:00.000-07:00

My nephew, Jagger, is scheduled for open heart surgery tomorrow, Wednesday, at 11:00am. Jagger has to be at the hospital at 10am. Mom and Josh's mom, Candy, will get to see him for a bit before surgery, since the start time is later now.
Today, Josh and Emily, along with Jagger, met with the surgeon, went on tour of LA Children's Hospital, and had a myriad of tests done. They found out some new information about Jagger's condition. Not only will the surgeon be repairing the large hole, he will also be rerouting an artery which is not in the right place. They will be using some of his pericardium (the sac which encompasses the heart) to repair the hole. Once in surgery, they will better understand the extent to which this artery needs to be repaired.
Emily and Josh were able to see another patient who had the same surgery. Emily felt like she would now be better prepared for that initial time of seeing Jagger after surgery.
The surgeon maintained that Jagger will only be in the Pediatric ICU for about 24 hours, with an expected hospital stay of 3 days. Please pray that everything will go smoothly tomorrow for Jagger, and the rest of the family. Emily has had a couple of difficult weeks with her pregnancy, so please pray that God's peace will be with her at every turn.
A praise is that they did get into the Ronald McDonald House, so they will be close to the hospital, and only have to pay a minimal charge. Mom and Candy are down there now, along with other members of Josh's family that are in the area.
It's hard to understand why such a little guy has to endure such a trial as this, but I do trust that God's hand is on this family, and am believing that His purposes for us to bring him glory will be accomplished. Please continue to pray...

One of those days...

2008-10-07T14:18:00.000-07:00

Conversation with Amaya on the way home from school:

Amaya: Why are you going around the block this way?

Mommy: Because I wanted to stop and get the mail.

Amaya: But the mail box is back there.

Car goes in reverse, and we travel backwards for a half a block.

Amaya: Are you having another one of those 'lose your brain' days, Mommy?

Mommy: Yes, honey, it appears I am.

Thanks for pointing that out, my sweet four year old!

Amaya's first day of school

2008-10-03T22:07:00.000-07:00

Amaya's first day of preschool at Phonics Phactory was a huge success. Tennyson didn't quite know what to do with herself (neither did mom, for that matter). We feel blessed with her teacher, Mrs. Barham. She has already been sensitive to the parental concerns we had about Amaya starting school. Amaya has responded well to her, and we look forward to the upcoming year.

Amaya's horse obsession

2008-10-02T21:38:00.000-07:00

Amaya had her first, and long awaited for, horse riding lesson last week. After we made sure that this interest in horses wasn't just a phase, John found a stable for her to take lessons at. Amaya was all smiles as she donned her boots, and loaded her tack into the back of our car. On one hand, I think we are hoping it is a phase, based on the cost of every small thing associated with these 4-legged creatures; on the other hand, we have heard from more than one person that an interest in horses often replaces an interest in boys during the teenage years.

So, while mom would much rather have her involved in something a little more athletic, or musical, I will bank on the trainer's promise that this will be instilling some sort of discipline into her little 4 year old soul.

Something I said I would never do...

2008-10-02T15:07:00.000-07:00

I have loved reading other families' blogs, but swore I would never create one myself (who has the time, I thought); however, with the passing of Tennyson's 2nd birthday, and Amaya starting preschool, my guilt was no longer bearable. I needed to start doing a better job of recording, and preserving some of those 'once in a lifetime' moments from my girls. So, if no one actually reads our blog, that's ok. My personal blogging goals will still have been met.